Kah Nyinzzz

It’s been 6 days since Vincent had passed away and It’s been nearly 2 months ++ i broke up with the person that i care and love the most. Since i ended the relationship, the person that is closely related to it is gone too. I feel depressed for the pass weeks and when things seems to be better, I received the news that Vincent had passed away. He’s always like a brother to me. He always treat me like little sister. We used to work together, laugh together and even cry together. We share the responsibility  to gether when we work as librarians as colleuge.  Now he is gone, seems like  half of me is gone too. There’s  no way I’ll able to talk to him again. So much to say but no more chance to do it. He stood by me when i need an advise especially regarding my love life. He always say, "Well mui, you must understand Taurus always like that, look at me and you’ll understand him better cause i’m a Taurus too." Whenever i think of those memories, i miss him so much. his optimistic attitude towards life and how he always make ppl happy and even he is sick, he still able to put up a smile and jokes around like usual. It feels so hard for me to let him go. Feel lonely at times. whenever i run through my phone list, i stop at his name and misses him. When i open my friendster, i will run through his profile and take a look at his photos. His smile always in my heart. I just keep on feeling that he is still here. 
    Everything doesn’t seems right for me this year. Was wondering when this pain gonna go away. the feeling of dissapointment, lost and love is something that i can’t bear. Feeling depressed at times but there nothing i can do about it cause i don’t know how. Feeling like going home but i can’t because i have my own resposibility here. As a student. I dont’ want,  bacause of my problems cause the biggest dissapointment in my family. But i feel tired, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Can God send someone to help me?

Holiday going to end soon… really do’nt feel like leaving here but there nothing much i could do cause studies and my degree cert awaits me. There are a few things that make me can’t leave here, first, is my mom and secondly is a person who always stood there for me and care for me whenever I need him. 2nd year is coming soon. And i need to strive the best for the next two years. No time to waste in these two years…

Well..holiday going to end soon… don’t feel like going back but half of me feels like going back. 2nd year gonna start soon. No time to waste though. Need to work my butt off next year. This sem…my results wasn’t good overall, only manage to get 2.9 for the whole year. But i try my best already so let’s see what I can do next year.  A year had passed studying in UMS, really taught me a lot. Make me come to realise in order to survive, we intend to do silly mistakes, wrong judgements and even wrong actions. Though we might get hurt in between survival, but most important, we realise our mistake and we know how to make it up.

Here I would like to thank Chui Ping, Andrew, Wai Kuan, Mee Po, Foong Choong and Adam for not giving up on me. And try they best to make me realise my mistake and even give me time to make it up. You guys really spice up my life during my first year..thank you guys…